


Plugs and Sockets

by DarkShadeless



Series: Of pint-sized terrors [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Kinda, M/M, The Talk, Theron tripping into being a co-parent, Theron's (and Yon's) complicated past (mentioned), XD, and dealing with that with his usual grace, he does his best, just shameless fluff really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 19:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19362817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkShadeless/pseuds/DarkShadeless
Summary: Or, conversations Theron was Not Prepared for.Fife looks up at him with huge blue eyes, as serious as a six-year-old can be. “What is sex?”





	Plugs and Sockets

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a tumblr shitpost XD

 

 

There are a lot of things Theron did not expect in life that totally happened. Revan popping up like the galaxy’s most awkward family reunion ever. Yeah, that was weird.

Or Valkorion. What the kriff was up with that guy, seriously? And his _family_.

The last few years have been pretty wild.

But there are other things, better things he also didn’t expect. Those happened too. He found someone to come home to at the end of any given mission, someone he can be himself with. He found a _home_. If it’s not the home he dreamed of ages ago when he was a little kid and if he didn’t become the hero he thought he would… it doesn’t matter so much anymore.

Theron wouldn’t trade the life he has built for those daydreams. This is _real_ and it’s all his.

 

On the list of things Theron didn’t expect to have children range pretty high. At first for obvious reasons and later, well. An SIS agent leads a dangerous life. He never pictured himself as someone to settle down enough for that to be a possibility.

He still isn’t, to be honest. He still goes out there, kisses Yon goodbye and goes on missions for weeks, sometimes months. The second is becoming rarer but it happens. Not the kind of lifestyle that screams ‘parent material’.

Theron once swore to himself he’d never do to a mini-me what his own parents did to him. He wasn’t going to make a tiny person and then drop them on someone else and barely look back. Master Zho was alright, for all his hang-ups, but Theron’s stint in the system after the Jedi washed their hands of him was enough to last him a lifetime.

So… he didn’t think kids were something that was in the cards for him. And then there was Yon.

Yon who, for all of his own complicated relationship with procreation, came with a whole _gaggle_ of children.

Yeah, Theron never thought he’d be a dad but here he is, playing step-parent to his boyfriend’s horde of apprentices. Most of them are at least teenagers but…

Seriously. Fife is _six_. She comes to wake them up when her dreams get scary so that her Master will make the monsters under the bed go away and tell her another bedtime story.

Yon can call her whatever he likes, Theron is onto him.

 

His own role in this equation has never been so clear as in the moment the tiny lethan twi’lek abandons the crayons she has been doodling with and looks up at him, her blue eyes huge in her little red face. She looks as serious as a six-year-old possibly can. “What is sex?”

The only reason Theron doesn’t choke on his kaf is that he stops _breathing_.

_Kriff._

He is _not qualified_ to handle this. Naturally that means his brain short-circuits and what comes out of his mouth is the following, “Sex? Oh, uh. Some… some naked bantha shit.”

_What the glubbish. WHAT. WHY._

Fife’s forehead scrunches up in concentration as she tries to make sense of that answer. In a desperate attempt to get ahead of whatever she says next, Theron fumbles for words. “I mean. Look. When two adults like each other a lot,” oh dear gods, “They- uhm. They take their clothes off and… smush their bits together. And if their genetics are compatible, they have a baby.”

… Yon is going to kill him.

That is Theron’s foremost thought, as he has a stare down with his incredibly sceptical step-daughter. He’s helplessly trying to find a way to save this when her face lights up in comprehension. “Oh! You and Master have _sex_.” Force have mercy upon his spirit. She sounds _delighted_ with that discovery. “Are you going to have a baby?”

Dear gods, Theron should really, really quit while he’s ahead. Not that he’s _ahead_ in any sense of the word. “Uh. No, no we ‘re not.”

Fife’s bright grin crumbles into a pout that gives him the irrational urge to reassure her that _of course they will_. Theron swallows heavily and shunts that train of thought to the very back of the pile of things he Does Not Think About. “Awwww. Why?”

‘Because even imagining that gives me a serious case of anxiety,’ is not the answer his little girl is looking for and Theron’s sure not putting that on her. “Because… we… don’t have the right parts. Think,” Why is he so bad at improvisation? He is a _master spy!_ “Think droids. They need a plug and a socket to charge. It’s kind of like that.” _Force strike me down, right now. Please._

 

* * *

 

Theron manages to distract her after a while, or so he thinks. The prospect of a baby can’t be that intriguing to a kid, right? Right.

He almost manages to forget about the entire affair until Yon comes home. His lover looks more than a bit worn but his expression goes soft when he sees them fooling around with Fife’s blocks on the floor. (They are for levitation practice. That’s Yon’s story and so far he is sticking to it like glue. Theron reserves the right to build towers with them regardless.)

Their daughter drops her toys ( _training implements_ , _Theron_ ) without a thought and bounds into his boyfriend’s arms with what _has_ to be minor Force application. “Master!”

“Hey there,” Yon catches her with practiced ease, laughing all the way, “I’m home.”

Theron can’t help but smile, too. Yeah. Home. It’s good.

And _that_ is when all of his sins catch up to him at once. “Master, Master, can you install the other parts?”

_Oh gods. Oh no._

A puzzled frown finds its way onto Yon’s face, who has no idea where this is going _but Theron does_. “Parts, sweetheart?”

“For sex!” Fife’s all but vibrating with excitement. Her tiny lekku are curling and uncurling in involuntary grasping motions Theron knows she will grow out of when she grows older and more self-aware. Even thinking about it makes his throat go tight. “Like a droid!”

Force, he loves her so much. She’s going to get him murdered but he does.

Yon glances between them, equal parts bewildered and suspicious, though he manages to gloss over it with an ease Theron kind of envies right now. “Really, honey. Like a droid?”

“Yes!” Even from where he is sitting, Theron can see her eyes go wide and imploring. “Can you make the baby a girl? I want a sister.”

“Right.” Yon gently tips their daughter forward and hugs her close. Mostly so he can mouth over her shoulder incredulously, ‘ _What the kriff did you tell her?’_

Theron doesn’t have the first idea how to start explaining that but for some reason his heart feels as light as a hot air balloon.

Yeah, he didn’t expect any of this. It’s better than he could have imagined.

 

 


End file.
